


The Damsel Necessitation

by Geonn



Category: The Middleman (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cunnilingus, F/F, Female Friendship, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Future Fic, Mad Scientists, Superheroes, Tie Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 10:34:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geonn/pseuds/Geonn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the future, Wendy Watson has taken up the mantle of Middleman and discovers there are certain perks to saving the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Damsel Necessitation

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the future. Both references and ignores events from _The Doomsday Armageddon Apocalypse_ , but it's not necessary to read that to understand this. If you've seen any of the show, you're set. Inspired by the David Lynch video, which is slightly NSFW but so awesome. How could I not do this after seeing that?

Wendy watched the ribbons of electricity trail around the Tesla coils, meeting over Dr. Drukath's head. If she could track down the store where they bought those damn coils, maybe she could cut the mad scientist population in half. It was worth a shot. She made a mental note to record a reminder on her iPhone when this was all over. For now, she had a slight imprisonment problem to deal with. Her hands were cuffed behind her back, and she was inside of a cage. She thought it was overkill. Drukath didn't know the meaning of the word.

She was at the base of the stairs leading up to his platform. Lacey was strapped to a table, Frankenstein-style, with diodes attached to her forehead. Her eyes had rolled back in her head as the experiment started. Drukath's plan was sheer elegance in its stupidity. He was going to channel the creative parts of Lacey's brain through his Reality Alterer - yeah, that's what he called it - and use it to recreate the world in his vision.

The pick devices slipped from the cuff of Wendy's sleeve and into her palm. She uncoiled them with her fingers, clenching her teeth as she worked. She only had a few seconds before Lacey's brain was turned into Swedish meatballs. Drukath paced, explaining how wonderful the world would be once he was done with it. She stopped listening when he told her about how every city in the world would have a beach. How would that even work? From what seeped in of his rants, she decided physics would definitely be taking a definite backseat in his world.

"You know, all your talk about being a genius, and you're just cadging from other maniacs. Ever hear of M'nser-vant Neville? He turned my gun into a bunny rabbit?"

"He was a fool. I will succeed where he failed."

"Sure, sure."

The cuffs fell free and Wendy moved to the cage door. Drukath noticed and laughed. "You've already lost, Middleman. Unless you'd like a front-row seat to your friend's demise, I suggest you--"

"Can it, Dorkass."

"It's _Drukath_! You maddening--"

The cage door swung open and Wendy stepped out. She wished she had a little MP3 player that could trumpet out a victorious tune and a choir shouting, "Middleman!" whenever she did cool shit like that. Alas. She ran up the stairs and Drukath jumped down three steps to intercept her. Wendy pulled a small black device from under her vest and hurled it at him.

Drukath swatted it away and then grabbed the collar of Wendy's vest. She kicked his legs and they both went down. Drukath was laughing as they hit the ground. He pinned her, grabbing the collar of her shirt with both hands. "That silly little toy was the ace up your sleeve? Pathetic. The old Middleman would have been so disappointed in his successor."

"Yeah, I suppose he would've. He probably could have found a way to sabotage your machine _without_ you helping, but I'm still pretty new at this."

Drukath's face twisted in confusion and he looked back at the machine. The small black device he had swatted had affixed itself to the side of his command control. Sparks were flying from the keyboard, and the screens had gone to static. "No... what... no!"

He released Wendy and ran up the stairs. Wendy followed him, but she ran to Lacey. She pulled the diodes off her head and pulled off the straps that held her to the bed. Lacey sagged into Wendy's arms and Wendy scooped her up. She was still surprised by what her body was capable of; she'd really gotten ripped after the Middleman passed the torch to her.

Drukath was trying to stop the destruction of his machine. Lacey nuzzled Wendy's neck. "Dub-Dub?"

"Sh. I'll get you outta here." She carried Lacey down the stairs as the machine sparked and fizzled behind her.

Drukath slapped the machine. "You have no conception of what I am capable of! Fools! I will destroy you all!"

"Yeah, yeah," Wendy muttered. She ran from the laboratory. The explosions behind her made her shadow stretch out far ahead of her. There was a zap of electricity and then Drukath's voice raised in an anguished howl: "Yyyyoooooooouuuuuurrrrraaaaaggggghhhhh!"

She ducked behind an anachronistic blue mailbox - seriously, when was the last time she'd seen one of those things? - as the laboratory exploded. She blocked Lacey with her body, and Lacey's arms instinctively went around Wendy's arms. She sighed dreamily. "Dub-Dub. I had the strangest dream."

"I bet you did."

Lacey lifted her head. "Did you save me again?"

Wendy couldn't help but smile. "Sure did."

"Cool." She dropped her head back to Wendy's shoulder and went back to sleep.

#

After the police, fire department, EMTs, Hazmat, poison control, the CDC, FEMA and ASPCA - for the lab animals - had arrived, Wendy slipped out while they were arguing over jurisdiction. She had put Lacey in the back of her Ford Fairlane, snug as the proverbial bug, and drove through the lines of bureaucracy. She'd done the hard work, the alphabet soup agencies could deal with the fallout.

When they got back to the formerly illegal sublet Wendy Watson used to share with the young, photogenic artist currently snoring in the backseat, Wendy scooped Lacey up in her arms and rode up in the elevator. Noser was at his position in the corridor when Wendy arrived, strumming his guitar. He glanced up at Wendy and nodded hello, ignoring the soot on her face, the bruise on her cheek, the tear in her sleeve, the scrapes on Lacey's arms, the ragged appearance of Lacey's clothes, and the fact that Wendy was dressed like one of the Blues Brothers if they'd had a bit more style.

"Hey, Wendy Watson. Each time I feel like this inside, there's one thing I wanna know."

"What's so funny about peace?"

"And love."

"And understanding. Don't ask me, Noser, I'm not the one laughing." She nodded at the apartment. "Could you get the door for me?"

He let them into the apartment that Lacey now lived in alone. Wendy kicked the door shut behind her and carried Lacey to the couch. She didn't bother to turn on any lights as she navigated the organized clutter. She gently deposited Lacey on the couch, stretching her legs out and taking a relatively clean drop cloth to cover her. She sat on the edge of the couch as Lacey rolled onto her side, humming contentedly as she pillowed both hands under her head.

Wendy stroked Lacey's cheek. When she started as the Middleman's sidekick, she called herself Robin, the Boy Hostage. When she assumed the job of head honcho, she spent a week deciding if she was Batman or Superman. Wonder Woman was a possibility, she supposed, but she didn't want the costume. She had decided on Batman, since her true power came from the tools she carried with her.

But sometimes, whenever a mad scientist or alien menace or mythological demoness tried to get to her through Lacey, she really felt like Superman. She would swoop in to save Lois Lane, deposit her at home, and then slip off into the shadows before she woke. She'd tried to keep her Middleman status from Lacey for as long as possible, but after the sixth kidnapping, her lies got flimsy. They finally talked it out over breakfast while Lacey nursed two black eyes and a splitting headache (almost literally; an alien named Vesserleia tested his seismic cell disturber on Lacey's cranium and came within seconds of splitting her head like a watermelon). When all was said and done, Lacey only had one question. And it was not a question Wendy had anticipated.

"Why Middle _man_?"

"That's the job title."

"But you have girl bits."

"Thanks for noticing."

"So Middlewoman would be more appropriate, no?"

Wendy rolled her eyes. "Ugh, I'm not that feminazi. Congresswoman, fine. But postal worker doesn't roll off the tongue like mailman. And Middleman just fits. And I'm not even going to entertain the possibility of Middlelady. That just sounds like a feminine hygiene product."

"Okay, then." She lifted her glass in a toast. "To Wendy Watson, the Middlechick."

"Keep it up and I'll show you the middle finger."

She smiled at the memory, still stroking Lacey's cheek. She bent down and kissed one of the light bruises, hoping it wouldn't darken too much in the morning. Lacey didn't deserve to be exposed to so much violence. She wasn't a part of that world, and Wendy had brought her into it. Forced her into it. Thanks to Wendy, Lacey had to set aside parts of her calendar for "Abducted by crazy dude" at least twice a month.

"Sorry, Lacey," she whispered.

Lacey stirred. "Mm?"

"Sh. Go back to sleep."

"Dub-Dub?"

"Yeah. Go back to sleep. You're home, and you're safe."

"Stay here with me. I miss our slumber parties."

Wendy smiled. After she became Middleman, she had moved into headquarters where she could be on-call day or night. She hated how it had taken over her life. It took her away from her best friend, even though she tried desperately to maintain her friendships and connections. Her Middleman told her to make the effort before he left. Being Middleman was a calling, but it was also just a job. To let it consume her would have been a mistake.

She bent down and kissed Lacey's cheek again. This time Lacey turned her head and their lips slid together just as Wendy pulled away. She put her hand on Wendy's cheek, and Wendy shifted on the couch. "Lacey." Her lips met Lacey's as she formed the word, their tongues touching as Lacey said, "Wendy."

Lacey said her name so rarely that it was like someone dripping ice water down her spine. She shuddered and their kiss deepened. Their first kiss had been experimental, their second kiss part of a demonstration, and their third kiss was part of an artistic display. Lacey's painting had ended up showing two androgynous human shapes with no definitive gender surrounded by a purple, pink, and yellow heart. The painting was called LOVE, PERIOD.

Wendy moved into a more comfortable position, resting on the couch without putting her weight on Lacey. Lacey shifted to accommodate Wendy joining her, their kiss uninterrupted as their tongues got to know one another. It seemed odd that they had known each other for so long, they had been so close, they had done pretty much everything else together, but they never took this step. They had even showered together once, as a time- and water-saver. Wendy expected to hear a chorus of why this was wrong, but all she heard were her inner voices shouting at her about how long it had taken her.

She put her leg over Lacey and settled down on top of her, and Lacey began undoing the buttons of Wendy's vest. They stripped each other carefully, taking pauses to kiss and fondle, and soon Wendy was topless except for a loosely-knotted tie hanging around her neck. She reached up to take it off, but Lacey slapped her hand away.

"Don't. It's sexy."

Wendy smiled and kissed her again. Lacey stroked her breasts and circled the nipples with her fingertips. Her touch was like electric, like she had absorbed part of Drukath's machine and was now transferring it to Wendy with tiny sparks. Lacey was wearing a long, layered pink skirt that reached her ankles when she was standing, and Wendy had to pull for what felt like hours until it was gathered at her waist. Wendy sat up and looked into Lacey's heavy-lidded eyes. She licked three fingers, smiled, and put them between Lacey's legs.

Lacey arched her back. "Oh! Dub-Dub..."

Wendy was working off anecdotal evidence, not empirical, but she soon discovered a rhythm that worked for her. She stroked Lacey with two fingers, circling with her thumb until she found what had to be Lacey's clit. Lacey gasped and bit her bottom lip, struggling on the couch like she was fighting to get free. But her hands were clinging to Wendy, sliding down the smooth skin of her back until she could hook her fingers in the belt loops of Wendy's suit pants.

Lacey pulled on Wendy's hips, and Wendy began thrusting, miming the carnal act as her fingers moved inside Lacey. Lacey was wet, surprisingly wet, and Wendy wanted to know what her friend smelled and tasted like. But later. Right now she was focused on making Lacey come. She'd heard it happen enough times through walls, had seen the aftermath of a boneless and chortling Lacey draped over the couch, but she wanted it to happen because of her. She wet her lips and whispered. "Come for me, Lacey."

"Oh, Wendy."

Wendy closed her eyes and Lacey pressed down into her. "Oh, God!" She pulled Wendy to her, grunting without forming words, bottom lip trembling as she squeezed Wendy like a vice. Wendy bent down and kissed Lacey again, pepping her face and neck with kisses for the sheer novelty of it. She was kissing Lacey Thornfield. She had just made love to Lacey Thornfield. The thought was mind-boggling.

She had just slipped her hand free when Lacey surprised her. She wrapped her arms around Wendy and, with an amazing show of strength, flipped them both. She pinned Wendy to the couch and stared down at her, a devilish smile on her lips. She lifted Wendy's arms and lifted them up, holding them against the arm of the couch. "I just pinned the Middlechick. Does that make me a supervillain?"

"That depends on what your dastardly plan is."

"Make you come."

"Fragments of Sappho! My deadliest villain yet!"

Lacey kissed her and then slid down Wendy's body. Wendy's smiled faded as Lacey took a nipple into her mouth, sucking it until it was hard enough to bite. She hissed, and Lacey looked up at her, but Wendy nodded that it was okay. Lacey's tongue felt hot on the curves of her breast, burning as it went down her stomach. Her pants were unfastened quickly, and they skimmed down her legs along with her underwear.

Wendy swallowed hard, denied the time to accept she was completely naked under her best friend. Lacey breathed through Wendy's pubic hair and then touched the tip of her tongue to Wendy's clit. She turned her head and gave open-mouthed kisses to Wendy's thighs, circling with her tongue until the muscles relaxed. Wendy's legs spread apart as she relaxed, and Lacey massaged them with her fingers as she kissed her way back to Wendy's sex.

Wendy pressed her upper body into the cushions, angling her lower body up against Lacey's tongue. She was an artist with a canvas, but her tongue knew a few tricks, too. Awesome tricks. She brought her feet up and hooked the ankles together behind Lacey, ensnaring her in an inescapable hold that Sensei Ping had taught her. She was aware of her bottom lip trembling - hell, her whole body was trembling - but she couldn't focus enough to stop it. Even Tyler had rarely gone into the Deep South when they were dating.

Lacey grabbed Wendy's necktie and held onto it as a leash, lifting her eyes to watch Wendy as her tongue did its magic. She alternated between gentle and insistent, pushing Wendy to the edge before walking her away from it. And then... and then... Wendy put both her hands on Lacey's head and curled her toes. She came for what felt like the whole night, her body thrusting against Lacey's mouth and then recoiling from contact. She laughed nervously, very aware she was blushing, and cradled Lacey's head as Lacey scooted up and began to kiss, lick and suck Wendy's navel.

"Thanks for saving me, Dub-Dub."

"Hey. I took an oath."

Lacey slid up Wendy's body, both of them sighing at the sensation of skin sliding across skin. They kissed, and Lacey stroked Wendy's hair.

"I feel like I should have anticipated this," Wendy said softly.

Lacey folded her hands on Wendy's chest and put her chin on them. "Well, of course you should have. Superman always gets Lois Lane eventually."

Wendy chuckled and pulled Lacey to her. They kissed, stroked, and played with each other until Lacey's head started to droop. Wendy kissed her between the eyes and said, "Go to sleep. I'll keep an eye out for any other bad guys."

"Mm kay. Night, Dub-Dub."

Wendy smiled. Ida would worry, by which she meant there would be a mandatory drug test in the morning, but she didn't care. It would be nice to spend another night in the old apartment that she shared with her equally photogenic friend and now apparent romantic partner.

There were worse ways to unwind after a fight.


End file.
